Finding a New Support Group

When You Can’t Go Home to the Home Group

Some time ago I participated in the organization of a 12-step meeting on Sunday afternoons held in an empty room of a local church. The meeting was called By Faith, and was eventually closed due to sporadic attendance.

It took me a little while, but eventually I found another group to attend. It was called "Mother Power," and was held on Thursday evenings in a local doctor’s office. Recently, the Mother Power group closed its doors, so I am once again in search of a new group.

Finding a new support group is like discovering a new significant other. You might meet many before you find the one that is right for you, your needs, your personality, your communication style. Each group really does have its own flavor. Even groups that run off the same literature and format boast their own independent personality based on the dynamic of the people who attend.

As I begin my search, I find myself thinking back on tips I have learned along the way from those who went before me. These suggestions make sense for me and may or may not work for others. I can only ask you take what works and throw away the rest.

• Support comes in many different forms. Some people benefit greatly from 12-step type meetings, while others prefer more interactive support groups. Other options such as individual counseling, church groups and online gatherings are also available in every community. Look for what works for you and embrace it; there is no right or wrong way to find healthy support.

• Don’t just go once to one group and decide this is not going to be for you. Go to a number of different groups and go five or six times to each to give yourself a real chance to decide if it’s a good match.

• If you make contact with a support system that lectures exactly what you want to hear- RUN! Recovery (yours and the addict’s) does not come easy. You are going to hear things that make you feel uncomfortable, things that will bring you to tears, even things that will make you never want to return. Keep going back. It’s going to be hard but the only way to the other side is to walk through the pain.

• If you decide a 12-step meeting is a good starting place, know they are easier to find than you may think. A simple Google search will provide you with their websites, where you may use search tools that allow you to find a meeting simply by typing in your zip code. Meetings are broken down by location, day, time and style of group. Some are gender specific, some offer babysitting, some are open meetings, others are closed. There are many different types, try out a few to find the one that is right for you.

The overall message is to find what works for you and make it yours.  You may not discover your perfect support system overnight but don’t give up. If we dedicate as much energy to nurturing our serenity as we did to trying to control our chaos-recovery will be ours!

Carol Ann is a frequent contributor to the Local Voices column and writes solely based on her own knowledge and personal experience. She is not a medical professional but desires only to share her hope, love and acceptance.